Howls. Sobs. The sound of leather on skin. These sounds that she hears all day, come back to her every night. She can see the sounds on their bodies. The poorly hidden bruises, and the scars that will take too long to heal. She wants to reach out and caress them, tell them it will be fine. But she will not lie to them, will not make matters worse. All she can do is let out a prayer in her own solitude. And, hope.
Twenty years ago, Parveen had thought that now that she had reached the age of twenty, there is nothing left in her life to do but get married. Because, as she had been taught, it was the only thing in her life that mattered, the only she was eligible for. “My mom and dad chose for me and I had to say yes. So, I got married. Back then, it was not like today’s generation. You just had to do it.” Parveen also told me how when she wanted to study as a young girl, her father did not allow it. He did not believe that education was for girls, or that Parveen should leave the house. And so, gradually, all Parveen could do anymore was get married. So she did.
Parveen has never experienced violence personally, but she has known it from around her. “When we used to live in the village, it used to happen everywhere. Every house was closed off, separate, so no one bothered helping anyone. But everyone knew it happened—they could hear it, they could see it. But in the city, over here, I’ve never heard or seen it. Never known a woman here who is going through this. That’s the difference between urban and rural environments.” She also shed light on the causes of violence, having told me that it is most rampant in houses where alcohol and meat are consumed. “But none of that happens in my house. My husband, my children, my in-law family, they are all nice, happy people. They don’t indulge in anything like this. Our family is happy, we don’t even fight.”
At the end of the day, Parveen is a strong believer in minding one’s own business. She thinks that misunderstandings arise when someone tries to mingle in places, and misunderstandings lead to anger. And so, she keeps her caresses to herself. Because, the brunt of that anger, always, has been borne by the wife alone.
Leave a Reply