a letter to my mother (II)

dear ma,
when you tell me to try something 
on
but I don't look thin enough
like the girl in the 
photo
and instead of telling me it’s fine,
you spit out that you 
hate me even more,
i swear it feels like the poison 
has ripped me
into shreds, 
into gore. 
i swear it feels like, 
banging myself into 
the door.